Gretchen’s DNA Surprise

This transcript was generated automatically. Its accuracy may vary.

Speaker 1

The TNA surprise Journey can be shocking, upsetting and isolating, but you're not alone and there is hope connection and Community are powerful tools as we process.

And

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he'll

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But the problem is, you know, health history.

I mean, what is our health history?

I've had health issues then, I didn't know what they were from my daughter was pregnant and she had a test to make sure her baby wasn't Down syndrome because that ran into my who I thought was my family.

Before that, it turns out that she had that test for no reason because that doesn't run in the family.

So it's kind of like all your medical history to is now it's changed.

You don't know it.

Imagine spitting.

To a tube sending off your DNA.

And unknowingly turning your life upside down for me and thousands of others.

This is our reality, I'm your host Alexis ourselves in July of 2021 I discovered that I am an NP e.

Someone who is experienced a non paternal event.

In other words my biological father isn't who I thought he was this podcast.

Here's the journeys of people who were shocked by a DNA Discovery mostly through Modern DNA testing.

We're telling the stories of NP.

He's adoptees and donor conceived people, and their families.

This is DNA surprises.

Welcome to season two of DNA surprises in this week's episode.

We'll hear Gretchen's and PE story.

Now, like many of our stories Gretchen's DNA, surprise includes many people and it can be difficult to understand the roles of everyone involved.

So, before we begin, I want to give some background before her DNA surprise Gretchen believed she was the youngest of three children.

It turns out that Gretchen's biological father, had two children before her.

He had a daughter Barbara in his first Edge.

Then he had her brother Jimmy and his second marriage, he abandoned both families and had an affair with Gretchen's mother which is how Gretchen came to be.

After his relationship with Gretchen's mom, ended Gretchen's mother returned to her birth certificate father while pregnant with her.

Gretchen's father remarried and had two more children.

He is still with his third wife today.

While all of the children involved know about each other.

His third wife does not Gretchen and her.

Two older siblings remain, a secret Gretchen story is painful and complicated, she speaks about how she always felt different and how she feels knowing the truth.

Thank you Gretchen for telling your story.

I am Gretchen and I am a 56 and I'm from Keizer Oregon.

Oh dear.

I've researched my ID and a because my grandfather was on the Orphan Train and we wanted to find out more about his family because we didn't know anything.

What is the Orphan Train?

They put the kids on the trains in New York and they went from town to town to town to adopt these kids, they were made, Basically farmworkers my grandfather's father, left abandoned his wife and six kids for him, got put on the train, one had tuberculosis and she kept the youngest.

So, the for got put on the train, they got adopted in Nebraska, and there were all Olive complected, dark dark, hair, dark eyes, and so, we kind of wanted to find out about What happens and where his mom was from, and I kind of wanted to know where she went and where the little one went.

And so that's how I started it.

And then when I got my DNA results, which was a couple of years ago, I was shocked to see.

There was nothing from my dad's side on the DNA test.

I was like, hmm.

Where's my uncle?

Where's all these people?

That I know have done ancestry but they're not there.

And so I saw this other name and I was like, who are they So I sent a link to course.

I thought was my father and my mother and the brother and sister I grew up with I heard nothing.

I saw all these other name I had nobody of the name.

I thought I was and nothing from anybody.

I got from my dad at the time.

Looks like your uncle's, it didn't look like my uncle's so I asked family reunions people would just walk away from me at one point I got Asked your mother.

And then I sent a note to one of my biggest links.

I said these are the names I grew up with this is my mom's maiden name.

Do you know these people?

Because I'm directly linked to you with a lot of DNA?

I heard nothing and so February 3rd, 2020.

I got a it's okay.

I got a big surprise.

My new sister contacted me and said, do you know this man?

And I said, I have no idea who that says, she's trying to nicely.

Tell me, she's my sister.

I wasn't getting it, my husband and daughter got it.

I was like, No, And I asked my mom, she said, I don't know who that is.

I literally put the guy's name and the Contact.

She said, I don't know who that is, but she took a long time to get back to me.

Like she didn't get back to me right away like she would normally get back to me, took her till 8:30 the next morning with a lie.

And then I talked to the lady My Sister Barbara, she knows she's on this podcast.

Now she's been a blessing, but she told me that she's looking to find it her.

Had passed and the guy she grew up with as a father had passed.

And she was finally looking into her bio dad, and wanted to know how he was, was the health or anything?

And I didn't even know about him.

So I said we really can't be much help but we investigated and found we found him, she contacted a library and they helped her quite a bit and we were first trying to figure out what the story was.

Well it turns out my mom took Upholstery classes from him.

He had an upholstery store.

Yeah, she took a pollster classes and I could never figure out she upholstered a chair.

Like, nobody's business.

Like professional, I can't figure it out.

She told me about the post restore that her mom used to take her by all the time said, that's where your dad works.

And she said, you probably have siblings out there and I little, did she know.

I turns out, I called my brother that I grew up with and I said,

Do you know anything about moms upholstery classes?

Oh yeah, she took a poster classes.

So it turns out that my parents got divorced.

My mom took a pulse for classes.

Had an affair with the married, man, I think she had planned on marrying him, she left.

Well, my brother and sister got taken away from her because she was hanging around this man.

It turns out my who I thought was my dad sued.

At him for infidelity, he lost his house and my dad got it for a dollar because my bio dad didn't show up for the judge.

And so he got it for a dollar and then my mom ended up.

Apparently, he must have left.

She didn't know about the lawsuit so she knows nothing about the lawsuit.

She's found out about this through this, my bio dad left him.

My mom was six months pregnant with me.

Got remarried to the man that she was married to before the affair and I was always treated different.

I'm a redhead and a dark-skinned olive-skinned family and fair skin.

Red hair, the story was that my great-uncle which my grandma made up to cover.

For my mom was a redhead so just the whole shock Enos of it.

Yeah.

Making sure I understand this because this is a A complicated.

Yes.

Your parents that you believed were both your biological parents.

We're married.

Uh-huh.

They had three kids.

You and a brother and a sister is who they re.

Your mom had an affair with your biological father, who ran the upholstery shop and taught her upholstery got pregnant with you and then your dad, the one that raised you Sued, your biological father.

Yes for infidelity with your mom.

Took his house for a dollar and then your mom lost your brother and sister.

So did your dad get custody of

them?

Yes, he got custody of them because she was hanging out with, with my father bio dad.

And so he got custody of them.

I've found all this for court records because I'm not trusting anybody at this point.

So court, records are my

record.

So did they your mom and bio dad?

Did they kind of stay together until she was six months pregnant, and then he left town.

And then she went back to your dad.

Okay, yes.

So

you were kind of touching on that when you were little, you always were different.

Did you feel different or suspect that maybe your dad wasn't your dad or that you are done?

Did or

anything?

Well me and my man I thought was my dad, I thought always didn't like me, I was always the one that had to do the chores.

I was always the one that had to do like everything.

He didn't walk me down the aisle, I asked him to walk me down the aisle.

He didn't walk me down the aisle.

I'm an amputee.

And so I got my leg amputated, he told me it was too far to come and it was two hours away, just little things like that, that are quite hurtful.

All that.

Now all makes sense, you know?

Because he wasn't there for me, so it's it's kind of answering a lot of questions to why I got treated.

I did get treated different.

I could never figure out why I got treated different from his parents, which I thought were my grandparents.

But later now I know why I got treated different and and all the family pictures now it's like why did I not see this?

I stick out like a sore thumb.

I am the redheaded.

Stepchild.

You know, I think something that is true for all of us for the most part.

Is we just believe what we're

told.

Yeah, child,

yeah.

You don't have a reason to question or think that your parents would be lying to you about anything,

especially where you came from?

Yeah, no.

I did asked a lot and even look for adoption papers.

At one point, my sister and brother that I grew up with always told me, I was adopted, but, you know, Oh, that's kind of something, you know, I'm a redhead in my family and they can, i Burns as totally different in every I mean, my face shape.

Everything is just different than anybody else.

So my grandma came up with the story of my great uncle that having a red hair.

Well she's from born in 1914, she doesn't have pictures of her, great uncle or even ever met him.

So I'm kind of upset with her too.

And she's not here anymore.

yeah, so did once you found out what was your initial reaction once it was confirmed.

I mean, what were those days and weeks like after the

discovery?

Oh painful.

Shocking.

My daughter.

And my husband did a lot of research on it.

I kind of step back because I was literally nauseous.

I don't know how you felt.

I was nauseous.

I was excited about Barbara, but it was just shocking to me to find out that.

Now I am I'm the middle child.

I've been the baby forever and now I'm like, The Brady Bunch.

I have.

Now I have two more brothers and two more sisters, it's just weird.

And then now my holes are halfs.

You know, they're not, I'm not a whole sibling with anybody, which is really kind of upsetting to find out.

I do actually share a lot of DNA with my half Sister Barbara.

Which I'm only 106 oz of being a full sibling which is really kind of strange.

Now it turns

out we actually had a lot of similarities, we went to the same pediatrician.

It turns out we live not far from each other but that term that is also with the half brother.

Well actually my half-sister we found a nest you online.

That is my have brother's child.

And so weak on my half, sister contacted him and he told us where my brother was.

And so I contacted my brother but it was shocking.

When I saw his picture on Facebook, he looked like me, he looked like me.

He looked like my son.

I literally was in Costco, and I hate to say this, but I felt like I was gonna throw up because I was like, I've my whole life, nobody's ever looked like me and to seek Him and NC his sons that look like my son.

It was so sake.

Yeah, I contacted him and he said, I've waited for this day, my whole life, they all knew about me.

The only one that didn't know about me was the firstborn, which was Barbara, and the rest of them all knew that.

I existed.

So it's just shocking to me that my cousin's my aunts, I mean it turns out my brother and sister now that they had thought about it that I grew up with went on picnics with my bio dad so it's

just wow.

But they didn't know right?

Your brother, they did not know but but it was kind of looking back.

They're like oh we spent time with this man?

When you confronted your mom and dad, the dad that raised you what happened?

What was that?

Like

okay.

So my mom lied.

How about everything she said?

No, no, no.

None of this.

You know happen.

I'll never talk to her again.

Ever, my daughter's talk to her, my dad that I thought.

Raised me said that, he talked to, I haven't talked to him, my sister, I grew up with talked to him and he said, I wanted to tell her many a times and never did.

I had a rough childhood, my dad was who I grew up with us.

Alcoholic.

He got me in a couple car wrecks.

Only me, he wasn't great.

I sent him an email and I said I don't even know what to call you anymore.

I said I've called you Dad, for 54 years.

What do I call you?

Now, he said nothing, I've heard nothing from him nothing it's the heating.

Two years, no be two years, February 3rd.

Wow.

Obviously he didn't want anything to do with me period.

So that was kind of answered there.

And the brother thing was, my mom kicked me out when I was young and he took me in for three months so I could get on my feet.

So I named my first born after him and my firstborn is having a big problem.

Plus turns out.

He looks identical to my bio Dad.

We got my bio dad's Navy picture.

Oh my God, my son looks just like him.

I was just it was so upsetting my son is Having a really rough time with it.

I'm so sorry.

Spend a rough road but I will never.

I wanted one thing for my mom.

I said, can you please change my birth certificate in this state, has to be done?

If the parent is still alive?

I've got no response.

She's not going to do it.

I mean, that's one thing that I really want because one thing that really bothers me about this whole thing is my birth certificate is a lie on Ancestry.

When you go through all the pictures of the yearbooks I mean, my grandkids and great grandkids will never find me.

I guess my DNA is says one thing my picture to say about others.

So that's quite upsetting.

I'm sorry and I've been told not to contact my bio dad, that his current wife doesn't know about his two other marriages.

His two other kids.

I've been bad.

I sent my bio dad.

Cards and cards and cards.

I've heard nothing.

His

current wife doesn't know about his

children.

Apparently, yes.

they have children together

though.

Yes, that's one brother.

And one sister.

Okay.

And he has hidden.

Yes, his whole passed from

her.

He was married to other times.

So what we have figured out is he left the first so He was in the Navy in California.

He, I believe met his first wife and his second wife in the Navy in California.

He married the first wife had two children.

One didn't make it.

That's my sister Barbara and then he left her for the second wife and Barbara did get to keep any pictures of him because his face was cut out of off.

All of the Take and so on.

And that then the second wife, he had two kids, but the first and the kid, another child that make it.

So then Along Came me but kind of broke up the second marriage that he disappeared.

And then went and found his third wife, which I think he's only stayed with quite frankly.

What we figured out is because she has money and she's still married to her.

So he had to have been married to She found her right after me.

So, I mean, I am now going to build be 57 in July, so he's been with her probably for 56 years, but he lost everything due to me.

I mean, he more than knows about, he's told his whole everybody knows about me except for me, and the brother and sister I grew up with, so they're dealing with their own shocking.

This to the find out, cousins, grandparents Aunts Uncles, I posted on Facebook About this and my aunt's set.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

We thought you knew

so your family that you'd kind of confronted before a family reunions and everything.

Some of them thought you knew this already.

that's a family man they just would like walk away.

I said that, you know, I can't find my Uncle Mike on my ancestry.

I said, I know he's on Ancestry because we had a fairly famous who I thought relative and Ogden Utah.

You like a whole towns named after him and I said that, I wanted to go there someday and that, you know, I can't find him on my ancestry and they just changed the subject.

And then, that's when a few months later, I got contacted by Barbara and I'm like, well, that's why, everybody's chance such act.

And on the other side, my one cousin tried telling me not to do the DNA test.

She knew I got sent to live with her mom for a while my Catholic Aunt, because she was supposed to Start me up as the time and she willing.

Another thing about her was she went, let me take communion well.

Now, I know why she went, um, you take communion because I'm not from a marriage.

So, but my cousin told me, you know, just ask your mom about this and my mom wouldn't talk about it.

I asked her and asked her about this when I got my first DNA test and she wouldn't discuss it.

Have you talked to your cousin since you found

out?

See She doesn't want to talk about it.

So, and my other cousin on the other side says, well, it's just like you were adopted.

Well, no, it's not.

It's

not the same thing as a different experience.

Yeah, I mean, you're adopted your wanted and I wasn't wanted and I was treated as I wasn't wanted and I was it wasn't just by my who I thought was my father.

It was my mother too.

I was kicked out of the house at 15 so, you know, And I had to clean and cook and get everything ready.

And I was supposed to go to school too, so it just didn't happen.

Have you had contact with your younger

siblings?

So this is kind of a funny stuff so my one sibling that's up in Alaska.

My brother had told me about my other, my sister, which I think looks a great deal.

Like my daughter, like a great deal like my daughter.

I found her on it.

See, I found her selling jewelry on it.

See, and so I told my new sister and so, we bought necklaces from her.

You know, she said a note and said, thank you so much, but she knows who we are.

And it's see, she doesn't like, I don't think contact with us because I guess we're supposed to live this lie that we don't exist.

So your

bio Dad's children from the third marriage, know about you yet.

Their mom doesn't.

So they're all keeping this secret from their mom.

Yes, wow.

Layers the layers are ding.

So that is just so wild to me that it's sort of like everyone hid everything from you.

They all knew and hid it from you and they're also doing that to the third wife.

Jail.

No.

And they're just hiding, even her kids are doing that.

So, Okay.

Wow, wow wow.

So you reached out to your father and he has not responded to you.

Yeah I reached out to my dad I spent him pictures of my son that looked exactly like him because I was so shocked.

I said I just found out about you.

I said I would just like you to know something about me and never heard a word and so I guess I'm bad because I want contact but I don't want to All because I don't want to be rejected, I guess I have is he has a winery he's 97 and I want I want to go there but I can't fly because I'm an amputee me.

And my new sister would love to go there and see if he actually knew who we were.

Yeah,

but yeah I we both don't want rejection, so she's tried calling to and they were working.

Closed.

But I've sent cards.

She hasn't because I don't think she's we're both like it's still new to both of us this whole thing and because it cope that we haven't got to me yet.

So but I've heard nothing from the by Odette, I kind of feel in this is just probably in my head to make myself feel better.

That he doesn't want anything to do with me because he did lose his house over me.

So I don't know if that's a real answer or not.

I would think Quite frankly, he'd probably be upset about that.

I don't know, I don't know this, but it's not your fault.

Now it's it's not that it feels like you know, kind of feels like you're falling and then we found a, he's a famous World War Two veteran and it's like to see this in the paper and it's like really, really he's left two families, one child that wasn't married and he's forgotten about everybody.

And I don't See that he's a great hero but it's kind of nice that I can at least find him and at least we have the internet and we can kind of research and find out some things about it because he's not touch.

Have you been able to learn anything about him in terms of his personality or anything like that?

That maybe makes you feel a little more connected other than just

being kind of has some commonalities with my new sister and I did get contact.

Third cousin, which I also like just might, I have had a basically an angel.

She's my Dad's cousin.

And she's Hunters just turned 102 and I talked to her twice a month and she tells me stories and she sent me pictures and so she's been quite a blessing.

She's very funny.

Definitely has opinions on things, but yeah, it's been quite a journey.

That's amazing that you've been able to connect with someone that wants to To share and be,

oh, yes, she's great.

She's great.

And another thing that also happened was when I was first married.

We had a son and we moved to Spokane it.

Turns out my grandmother lived in the same town and miles from me and I so could he used somebody being a new mom and a new town?

And she was miles away and I didn't even know it and it's my daughter has her eyes and it's just amazing.

Easy to me that so close.

Me and my brother, Jimmy and my sister Barbara all went to the same theater.

I don't know how we didn't.

You know, we didn't know about each other.

So it's all just the way the Web of Lies is pretty big here.

And a coincidences, you know, the things that kind of give you those goose bumps like yesterday in town.

Is your grandmother like, that's just yeah.

What are some things that have helped you through?

Throughout this journey, it's been almost two years now, what's kind of helped you heal and process

meaning are getting to talk to it.

We haven't met yet because I'm immune compromised and covid my new Sister Barbara she's been great.

We've been talking quite often.

There's so many similarities with us and we don't know anything about family, so I'm more like the discoverer.

I tie reach out to people.

I've talked to my brother Jim, he's at Uncle.

And I've talked to just reached out to many family members just finding out the information as helping me heal and talking to people about this, it's I don't know, just Discovery.

It's and peeling the layers to try to find out who your family was and where they came from.

And I don't know what I'd do without ancestry.

I mean, I know it uncovered this secret but as helped me uncover, a family that I didn't know.

Oh existed.

So now I feel like there is a whole because the house wasn't there before, for two years, I didn't have another half, I couldn't figure it out, I told my family, I'm like, I don't understand who those people are there come up all over my, my DNA, and I've never heard of them in my life, but now, I understand it.

So it's, it's shocking and hurtful, but I mean, it's the end.

Day.

I mean, it's it's it is what it is.

I mean, I can't imagine doing this to my child.

I have three kids.

Three grandkids, I would never do anything like this to them.

I mean, I keep their father away from them.

So you said that

you aren't speaking to your mother anymore.

Do you have any hope for reconciliation for your relationship with

her?

Um, truthfully, she's always treated me like a stepchild 12 dead.

Send me to the Catholic and wrote letters.

He's begging to come home and she's always put those in my face.

You know, said that, you know, she laughs about them.

She's never been supported of me or my kids.

And so, I just, this was the final straw, you know, she kept my dad.

I mean, even if my dad didn't want anything to do with me, I believe my grandmother would've and I know cousins and stuff would have something to do with me, because they've reached out from that side.

But it's just, it's Don't want anything to do with her.

I can't deal with her, she just as she lies and lies and lies.

So I mean she lied when confronted with the truth, even when the dad I grew up with confessed everything, she still continued to lie.

So the only thing I want from her ever again, I want my birth certificate changed.

I don't know why that means so much to me, but to me, that's just a huge lie and I know I've been Mary, 40 years in April.

And that, I mean, my name hasn't been that since I was 16, but it still means something to me, but I've actually blocked her from my email and my phone, and I've blocked an aunt.

That told me I was going to burn someplace hot after finding this out because I said, I wouldn't forgive my mom and she knew my whole life.

So I will say my grandmother, that did kind of raised me that that was quite full to find out that she So as coming up with lies to cover for my

mom's, it's really hard to find out that other family members knew, how is your relationship with your brother and sister that you grew up

with their Primetime danda based?

I am still the same to them.

They don't hate to say it but they don't feel the same to me anymore.

Find out a whole was half.

I just, you know, and they got treated so it's just I love them.

I've never been super close.

Us with them.

My sister's been more supportive than my brother, my brother just is very mad at my mother and told my mother that you know, she's never going to talk to you again.

So I do talk to my sister-in-law once a month and find out about how everything's going and my sister texts me but that's about it from that side.

What are your

hopes with your biological father side?

Sounds like you're going to meet Barbara at some

Yes, I would love for me Barbara.

I would actually love to meet them all.

I think Jimmy would be open to it if I went to Kodiak.

I don't know.

I'm hoping to meet them someday.

He was supposed to come temp Town last year and I was going to be, I got very excited and then he couldn't come.

I would love to actually meet the other two to but I think they, I don't know why but they don't want anything to do with me.

I'm, I mean, it's kind of hurtful but, you know, it's you have to get over it.

So And I would actually love to go to that Winery.

I don't drink but I would have a glass of wine that day.

Yeah and and as far as your father do you want to have a relationship with him if he would be open to it

the bio Dad.

Yes yes yes I would loved to at least hear from him.

He knew about me my whole life.

So yeah, I don't know if I ever got to meet him as a child because my mom doesn't tell the truth or lie.

Thing so I don't know.

I know she did know where he was at.

So that's interesting.

So she has kept somewhat of a watch on him so I'm not sure.

You know, I would love to have a relationship with him, I don't he's 97, I don't see it happening but I will continue to send cards.

Personally, I picture this 97 year old man running out to the mailbox constantly to see if my cards are in there to stop his wife from getting Yeah.

What do you put in those cards?

I just literally put love.

You wish I could meet you.

I put like Merry Christmas.

I literally sent him an anniversary card to my daughters like you know it's your Dad's anniversary.

My sentiment anniversary card.

I just put two dad in his wife's name and I just put, I hope you have a good and I don't put anything bad.

I just put I hope you have a good life and stay safe and healthy right now because he's 97.

So I don't know, I would love to meet him, web allies would have to come undone on his side where he'd have to actually admit.

He has kids especially when we all stood up there.

Like, you know, why?

So the four of us look alike and the oldest looks more like her mother Barbara looks more like her mother.

But I share so much DNA with her and I actually sure quite a bit with my brother Jimmy to so, but yeah.

I would love to meet everybody.

I just I think with all the lies, I don't see it ever happening so I don't know if they're keeping us away from money.

I don't know why they're keeping us away.

I do kind of Wonder because you said that his new wife has money and I think sometimes I think 4np he's when we reach out to that new family it's like you want to make it clear.

I'm not after anything.

Now that's not a relationship.

Yes, there's that fear.

On their side that we're going to feel entitled to

something or no, I just want to.

I just want to actually meet my dad.

I mean I would love to actually just it's so shocking to see pictures of him.

Like he was in the newspaper for being a great veteran and given one of the Valor quilts that they give our military and he was in the paper.

His body shape is just exactly like my oldest and his just looks exactly like and I'm like oh my gosh that's but my son is going to look like when he's 97.

So but it's just be so nice for them to actually get to meet their grandfather and see him.

I mean, I know, I don't want his money.

I don't want anything to do with it.

So I just want to know, actually him.

I would love to have pictures stories just actually get to meet him would be just wonderful, but I don't know that that's ever happening for me and

fortunately, I hope it does happen.

I Bananas too.

But

where would you say that?

You're at with everything right

now?

I'm still going through grief.

I think I've gone through a period where I've gotten rid of like let's just say everything that my mom ever gave me that was ever in.

My house is gone.

I'm still angry at her, especially I listed to your podcast yesterday and it just brought it all up over again.

It's just, you have anger in you and I don't know that you're ever going to get over it.

Be Great, if I could actually get over it, talk to her, but I just don't think I ever could cause she's lied so much.

I think I'd still in grief.

I am trying to get to Healing.

I think I'm peeling.

The onion layers is kind of helping me quite a bit.

With just I'm telling the my daughter has also joined ancestry and we're just going on and still signing relatives.

I mean, it's like, we're back to third grade grandparent.

So it just finding out where everybody is and I'm I raised some Scottish.

Well, there's the red

hairs.

Yeah, so it's just finding out these things but in finding out where everybody lives, I mean my whole family other side of my family.

My I don't, I don't know but it's so it's so complicated.

I mean, it's a story of finding this out asking nobody answering and then finally, I got the basic.

Ali, that answer to my prayers was Barbara, which unpeeled everything in and opened it all up.

And now, I do know the other half of my DNA that part was quite fulfilling of knowing the other half.

So I would like to get to know my father, but I don't know if I'll get that chance because he lives on the other side of the country, but

I can hope.

What advice would you give to a parent?

That might be keeping a DNA surprise from their

child?

Please tell them it's just going to hurt him or in the end, it's they need that other has to be whole.

They're always going to be longing for it.

That's probably why I was searching for family, searching for answers and little, did I know what I found?

But I would tell them, please tell them it's, it's going to hurt them or in the end that it is.

If you tell them right, you know, so they could know their family and connect.

And what advice would you?

You get someone who just found out that there are n

PE deep breaths.

You're not good days.

You're gonna have bad.

It's going to happen for years,

one day at a time.

That's all I can say is one day at a time.

Well, Gretchen thank you so much for sharing your story.

I wish you nothing.

But continued healing and hope that things get easier for you in the future.

Thank you so much for letting me.

Share my story.

Thanks again.

Again, to Gretchen, for sharing her story, if you have a DNA surprised that you'd like to share, please email, DNA surprises at gmail.com.

And if you haven't yet, please rate, review And subscribe to the podcast on Apple podcasts and Spotify.

Until next time.