Josh’s DNA Surprise

This transcript was generated automatically. Its accuracy may vary.

Speaker 1

Sherry knew none of the bad, you know what I mean?

And which makes sense.

She said he was a great dad.

He would come pick her up all the time.

She told me a story about a cousin who I don’t, I don’t think had a male figure.

He would come like pick her and her friends up, take him to get ice cream.

Sherry would have stories about going to like to the racetrack and watches the horse, watching the horses with him and going to these like festival concert things.

So she has great stories about him.

So it’s so nice to to have that, you know what I mean?

It’s not just the the drug dealer who was murdered or whatever, she said.

I just knew him.

I didn’t know any of that stuff and I just knew him as being my dad and being a good dad.

Speaker 2

Welcome to DNA Surprises, a podcast that explores the life altering world of unexpected DNA discoveries.

I’m your host, Alexis Ourselt.

This show centers the stories of people who’ve experienced NP, ES or non paternal events.

In other words, people who’ve learned that their biological father isn’t who they thought he was.

We’ll also hear from adoptees donor conceived people and the families navigating these discoveries.

Get ready to follow the incredible journeys that begin with a simple DNA test.

This is DNA surprises.

A common theme in the DNA surprise community is coming to terms with the fact that we’ll never get answers to the many questions we carry after uncovering the truth.

In some cases, people even grow up with questions without ever expecting to get the answers.

Josh was raised by his grandparents and grew up believing a man named Donald was his biological father.

But as he got older, he began to question whether the story he’d been told was true.

Those questions stayed with him for nearly 30 years before he finally decided to take ADNA test.

In this week’s episode, Josh shares his search for his biological father, the many surprising connections he’s made along the way, and what it’s been like to learn both the difficult and beautiful parts of his father’s story.

Most of all, he shares the sense of closure he feels now that he finally knows the truth.

Thank you for sharing your story, Josh.

My name is Josh.

I’m 52 and I am from Ohio.

I grew up with my grandparents raising me.

They took me from my mom that are pretty like when I was a baby, my mom was a drug addict and really couldn’t take care of me.

So my grandparents kind of came along and swooped in and took me.

I know they got custody of me when I was 18 months old, but I think they had me well before that.

My mom just just couldn’t raise me.

And then I had two aunts and an uncle that I grew up with, kind of like brothers, you know, brother and sisters.

They were little older than me.

Now, I did see my mom growing up.

I mean, I would visit her sometimes and she would be kind of in and out of my life, sometimes every couple years, sometimes every few months, you know, but she would pop up.

But I never, I never did live with her after I was a baby.

Did you feel like your mom?

Was your mom still?

Did you have kind of a maternal feeling towards her or was that more with your grandparents?

Well, a little bit of both.

I mean, I definitely, you know, I never called my grandparents mom and dad always knew my mom.

But I mean, I wouldn’t say I had a maternal connection necessarily with her.

I mean, she was just, yeah, she was my mom and I called her mom and but she was just in and out so much.

And and I I did have grudges towards her for, for not having me and, you know, being a drug addict and, you know, things like that.

And then she would always say like, I’ll get straight now and get you one of these days, which by that point time I wouldn’t have really wanted that anyways.

I was where, you know, I wanted to be too.

And also I, I want to mention she did.

I have a sister that I grew up knowing who’s like 9 years, eight or nine years younger than me would be my half sister with my mom.

My mom had her for a while when she was young and then kind of the same thing happened with me.

My grandma ended up with her and then pretty much raised her.

So, so I had that sister in my life ever since she was pretty much born or like one or something.

We didn’t always live in the same households or anything.

But so I did have that sister growing up, I guess now growing up, I had a name on my birth certificate.

His name was Donald and he had died before I was even born.

He was supposedly hit by a vehicle while he was hitchhiking, but it is right on my birth certificate and that’s what my mom always told me.

She never had any pictures or anything, and none of my family really knew much about him or anything.

So that’s just kind of what I accepted as being my dad in my 20s.

I had sent for his death certificate and my mom passed away when I was 17.

So she wasn’t around, didn’t really answer anything, and she had never really been able to answer anything growing up anyways.

So I sent for his death certificate and everything she had told me about how he died and where he died and all that was accurate.

But when I looked at the time he died when I was born, it was like 9 1/2 months.

And that’s when I first started wondering, is this really my dad?

And plus with my mom’s lifestyle and everything growing up, I always, I wouldn’t have been surprised whoever it was, you know, I, I didn’t necessarily believe I was him anyways.

But but then some people are saying, well, it’s technically 40 weeks, so he could have been your dad still, but I really didn’t believe it at that point.

OK, so you you were already like, I’m not too sure about this.

Yeah, even growing up, I mean, just my mom’s lifestyle and I always wondered, did she use him just kind of as a scapegoat because he was supposedly a good guy and kind of had her off of drugs and he wasn’t here to say otherwise, you know.

So I wondered if she just kind of used, used him as a scapegoat, you know, because he wasn’t here, or maybe she just didn’t know, You know, I, I, I didn’t know what this, what the situation was.

But so but then when I saw the dates, I was pretty sure that he, he wasn’t my dad, you know?

OK.

And even though maybe other people were telling you no, this Donald is your biological father, and you were questioning it, did you have any other possibilities that you considered at the time?

I was told so.

There was a guy in a neighboring town who I knew my mom was friends with and there’s kind of a wild story where he supposedly threatened my mom and he wanted her to name me after him or whatever.

So my middle name is after him.

But anyways he was there were rumors that he might be my dad.

She never told me that, I just thought they were friends.

But after she was gone I had an aunt and uncle tell me no.

She definitely did date him in that time frame and honestly, that’s part of the reason I didn’t look into anything for a long time because I didn’t want to know if he was my dad, I guess is the way to say it.

Like, if he was my dad, I feel like it was gonna just make me feel weird and I would not have been happy about that.

I’d actually even was going to contact a daughter of his and possibly do like DNA with her to see, you know, so I didn’t have to contact him.

He was in prison for murdering a guy, actually.

So that was one good thing that he is, he is not my dad.

I was.

Kind of hoping for it, OK.

But that’s the only person I ever like.

My grandparents really didn’t know anything.

My, you know, nobody knew much about my mom and what was going on in that time period and everything.

So there was really nobody to answer questions, you know, my mom really, you know, and even growing up, I would ask her about him and I’m like, I just want to see a picture, you know?

And she’s like, I don’t have one.

I lost one in a hotel room.

But she never told me anything.

Any other possibilities besides him you know?

What happens next?

Like you, you grow up with this feeling of something’s not right, and then how much time passes before the next thing happens.

Well, I guess like 30 years because, you know, I found that I will suspect that he wasn’t my dad because of the dates in my mid 20s.

And now I’m 52.

So almost 30 years before I actually decided to do something.

And you know, I’d asked a friend of mine who had Adna discovery, you know, which, which site did you use?

And that had asked her some questions.

And finally, I just, I guess November of this past year, 2025 is when I decided to order an Ancestry kit.

I don’t want to say like everybody says, well, it was on sale, but it it was on sale, I think I was going to do it.

That’s how they get us.

That’s how they get.

Us every time it was yeah.

So I ordered it and I kind of let it sit around for a couple weeks and you know, then I’m like, I ought to do this, you know, so I did it, sent it in and it was, you know, however long, four to six weeks or whatever.

I get an e-mail that it’s went through and I, I, it’s funny because a lot of people say the first thing they do is look at ethnicity.

And I, I never did that because I was specifically looking for a lien to my dad or my dad.

You know, the first match I see is her name’s Jamie and it says half sister or aunt.

And I mean, my heart just dropped.

I mean, it was, it was wild.

I’m like, OK, I found out something, you know, So I sent her a message on Ancestry, but I didn’t know if she would ever see that.

It said she hadn’t been logged in since like 2000.

I want to say 19 or something.

So I don’t know that you get an e-mail that says you have a message in the meantime.

I mean, my brains going 100 miles an hour.

I’m like Googling her and like trying to figure out different things, you know, and I even found, I even found an e-mail online.

I sent an e-mail to I even found a phone number I sent a text to.

I never did hear anything back, but I only had to wait like a day.

And she actually messaged me back and she says, where were you born in what year?

And I told her and she lives in Florida, born and raised in Florida, and I’m in Ohio.

She’s like, well, I doubt that you know, I’m your half sibling.

She did say I can’t be your aunt because I don’t have a brother old enough to be your dad.

And so that was ruled out.

I’m like, well, you got to be my half sister then.

And she’s like, well, you, you’re all the way up there.

I don’t, I don’t think so.

You know, she had a little denial in it.

Come to find out she had her mom had a link to the town I live in and grew up in.

She says, well, my grandparents did live there but they moved out there like 60 years ago.

And she goes, you know, my mom did live there.

I get digging a little bit.

I talked to my aunt and I told her about this and she says well I knew 2 ladies by that, that last name, this Jamie’s maiden name, two sisters and said what they were and she said they were friends with your mom and the one name her mom was pretty unique.

So my aunt tells me this name and I get back with Jamie and I said what was your mom’s name?

And she says well it’s kind of a unique name and she says it.

So now there’s a link that our moms are friends.

Here’s the bad part is like I thought OK I found her it’s over.

She knew nothing about our dad either.

She actually had a similar upbringing as me.

Her grandparents raised her and I think her mom might have been on drugs as well and stuff.

And you know our moms were friends.

So we we put a link that they are friends and Jamie is only 9 days older than me.

So wow, OK.

Which is wild.

And so I asked my aunt, I said, well, did my mom go to Florida much before she had me or before I was conceived?

And she said yes.

And she said she really liked the Fort Lauderdale area.

Well, that’s where they lived.

And also my aunt had a picture from my mom that got married before I was born to a guy.

And Jamie’s mom was actually in the wedding.

So they were good friends and I assume my mom was down there visiting and had either a wild weekend or whatever.

But Jamie was unable to help me with anything.

The only thing she said was she said his name was Richard.

She’d met a guy in her teens that was supposedly her dad, and nothing came of it, and his name was supposedly Richard.

So the next matches I had on Ancestry were three siblings, some older people, they’re, I guess in their 70s.

One was Juanita and one was Rita.

I’d sent them messages.

I’d already sent like a dozen messages on Ancestry, like second cousins, like say it was Jamie, and then three first cousins once removed, which would be my dad’s cousins.

I’m sending a message to everybody.

All these people, Juanita, Rita, and all these other matches beside Jamie are in Canada.

So like all these paternal matches are in Canada and I’m talking to all these second cousins.

I mean like probably half a dozen second cousins.

And I’m like, it’s as easy as it’s your mom’s first cousin.

My grandpa, my paternal grandpa was one of 18 kids.

So I’m asking all these second cousins, you know, like this is as easy as your mom being my dad’s first cousin.

It’s simple.

Well, there’s 18 kids, who knows how many, you know, grandkids.

So, you know, a lot of these people didn’t even know their first cousins.

Right, a lot of variables in trying.

To Yeah, yeah, so, so, so here twice.

I thought it was easy.

Like when I found Jamie, I’m like, OK, it’s solved.

Well, she didn’t.

She knew nothing about her dad.

And then Rita had got a hold of me and said my sister would probably be able to help you.

A couple weeks go by before I ever get any messages back from them and Juanita finally gets a hold of me and she says give me a little bit of time to do some work.

Well, a couple weeks go by and she sends me a message.

We’re talking on Facebook Messenger and she says I’d like to FaceTime with you.

And I was like, OK, so my wife and I, we’re sitting there and she Facetimes me and she says I think I may have figured out who your dad is.

She said I’m about 85% sure she goes, but it’s not a great story.

I was like, OK, So she proceeds to tell me about a cousin of hers named Mark who had ties to the US in Florida specifically.

He was a drug dealer in Canada.

And I guess he was going back and forth from the US back and forth to Canada and, you know, selling drugs up there.

And she tells me, though, that in 1980, he was murdered by some acquaintances of him of of his over the drugs he had supposedly told on these people.

And she sent me newspaper clippings, pictures of newspaper clippings from 1981 like she has these they were her mom’s.

And it was about the trial and, you know, the murder.

And like I say, supposedly, according to these articles and what she told me, this possible dad of mine had told them these people and they got caught.

They went to prison.

Then she goes on to tell me that he has a daughter that she knows of, that she’s Facebook friends and her name’s Katie.

So she says I’m going to reach out to Katie and see if she’d be willing to do DNA.

And she also reached out to her cousin, who would be, I guess, my dad’s half sister, that my grandpa had my dad, and then ended up having four more kids with another lady.

That’s a lot of information to get your first cousin once removed.

Juanita reaches out to potential half sibling in Kitty.

And is going to and and a potential half aunt as well.

And they they both agree to do ancestry.

And Juanita knew of Katie because she was from like New Brunswick in Canada, so she knew who she was.

So then I reach out to Katie, even though Juanita had already spoke to her about what the possibilities was.

And Katie tells me about another sister and brother that Juanita didn’t even know about, but Katie did.

And they were like in Ontario, it was Sherry and Mark Junior.

Katie didn’t come into their lives till she was, I want to say early 20s.

She didn’t know who her dad was.

There was a letter that our grandma had given to her mom and said she was raised by a stepdad.

She had been told her dad died in a car accident.

And I don’t even know if she knew a name, but in her late teens or 20s, her mom gave her this note from our grandma and she reached out to her and met her and Sherry and Mark and ended up having a relationship with them.

By the way, it’s five different moms.

These five children are all 5 different moms.

And funny enough, Mark and Katie are only three months apart.

So this guy had two kids 9 days apart and two kids three months apart.

And I honestly, I think there’s probably 4 out there.

I’m sure.

So I get on Sherry’s Facebook, that kind of Facebook stop her a little bit and see what’s going on.

I start scrolling down and I find a picture 2 pictures of her as a little girl with a man.

And it was, it was kind of insane the he looked, I look just like this guy did.

And I look, I’m like, I mean, not dead on in these pictures because he had like a beard and long hair.

It’s probably from, you know, like the 70s or whatever, but enough to where I was like, Oh my gosh, I go to the bedroom, my wife’s laying down in bed and I show her these pictures and she was like, Oh my God.

And that’s when it started.

I guess that was the first, like, feeling that I thought I was really onto something because I was kind of even the things Juanita was telling me.

I mean, I didn’t want to be let down.

I didn’t want to think it was him, you know?

But when I saw the pictures, I was pretty sure.

So I reach out to Sherry on Facebook Messenger.

It was January 3rd.

I sent her this long message and she reaches back out to me and goes, I’m not surprised if this is true.

And she says the more the merrier.

I mean, she just like totally.

And Katie as well.

Katie and Sherry both just like welcomed me with open arms.

We’re like, you know, hopefully this is true.

Mark is not on Facebook.

So eventually I ended up talking to him on the phone.

He’s the only one that I don’t have DNA proof with.

He didn’t want to do anything.

He said he would do like one-on-one if we wanted to, but I’m willing to accept this point that he’s my brother, you know, I mean, Sherry and Mark were actually raised around each other a lot.

Their moms were actually friends and let them be be around each other and together.

And, you know, and so they knew each other, you know, their whole lives.

And then like, say Katie came in, but they obviously didn’t know about me and Jamie.

So Sherry ends up agreeing to do Ancestry as well.

And so now Katie and Brenda had both submitted Sherry.

And weird thing about Canada too, is, and I don’t know if this is everywhere, Sherry’s took forever to get.

Like it came from Germany and then when she sent it in, it went to Ireland, which I thought was all kind of weird.

Yeah, Yeah.

I don’t know.

Yeah, they have, I guess they have a processing, you know, place in, in Ireland as well.

Well, both of them took forever and ever.

And as you know, it’s excruciating waiting and waiting and then Sherry, Sherry and Brenda had to redo theirs.

So Sherry waited all this time.

In the meantime, I did 23andMe as well, just to see if I found anybody else.

Well, I, I technically found out that he was my dad through 23andMe because Brenda the aunt has a daughter that was on 23andMe.

So she showed up as a half cousin.

So that pretty much confirmed.

But until I saw Katie and Sherry’s results, I was, I still wasn’t totally willing to accept it.

And then it was right after that Katie got her results.

So now I have the link.

I mean, assuming that you know, he is her dad as well.

I mean, so now she has confirmed as my half sister and then later on Sherry finally ends up getting her results.

She’s confirmed as my half sister as well.

Brenda is my half aunt so we know it’s him at that point.

What did it feel like to get that confirmation?

It was great.

I mean, and yeah, I mean, he he’s dead.

I’ll never get the meeting, but just to know.

I mean, I I can’t tell you just to know how much closure that’s given me.

Yeah, it would have been cool to meet him and him be alive.

But I’m finding all these half siblings and they all have stories and picture.

Well, Sherry mostly is the only one that has the the stories because Katie and Mark were only, I think two or three when he died.

And Katie, it wasn’t even in his life yet.

Mark said he may have a couple memories.

Sherry was like 11 when he died.

So she doing well.

I mean, she was very close with him.

She had to go through all that murder and trial and all that, you know, so.

No, I’m curious because you know, right at the the top, you learn really a lot of sad things about him.

You know what what had happened in his life and then you know his death as well.

Did you get to learn a bit what he was like as a dad?

And you know, you said Sherry was close.

Like what did you learn in that way?

That’s a great question.

Yeah.

And which makes sense, She said he was a great dad.

She told me a story about a cousin who I don’t think had a male figure.

He would come, like pick her and her friends up, take him to get ice cream.

So it’s so nice to to have that, you know, I mean, it’s not just the the drug dealer who was murdered or whatever.

And she said, I just knew him.

I didn’t know any of that stuff.

And I just knew him as being my dad and being a good dad, you know?

That’s good.

That’s good that you got those other pieces right, because that’s not all of of who he was, Yeah.

Right, right.

And to see you know the the pictures I’ve got to see his birth certificate.

My brother has that just pictures of tons of pictures, you know, I mean, I’ve got to see pictures of my grandfather and my grandmother, you know, obviously they’re not around anymore.

Matter of fact, Juanita who I, I’ve kind of been pretty close with Juanita, you know, she is the one that solved all this for me.

I’m so grateful to her and, you know, she didn’t give up and it, it took a little while and so grateful to her to help me figure it out everything.

Have you gotten to meet anyone in person?

I have.

So I just went like a month, 5 or 6 weeks ago.

I went to Canada.

I went, got my passport and I went and met Sherry, Katie and Mark.

I went and met my 3 Canadian siblings and then also a niece, a brother-in-law, a sister-in-law, a niece and a nephew.

Sherry’s son who’s like 31 and then Mark’s daughter is just like 3, so he’s got a young 1.

I actually stayed at Sherry.

Sherry invited me to stay at her house, which I was like, I don’t know, you know, but I’ve been talking to these people a lot over like 5-6 months.

So I was a little nervous about staying there.

But she offered and you know, I’m like OK.

So I came in on a Saturday and Mark and Katie came in as well.

We all spent the night there and we stayed up.

We went out to dinner with Sherry’s son and and husband and his fiance and and the rest of us siblings went out and had dinner and then we stayed up till like 3:30 in the morning.

Like looking at all these pictures and just all the stories they’re telling me, I probably looked at over 100 pictures of him.

None of them really look like him and I don’t I wouldn’t say I really like none of us really look that much.

Like there is a picture of me and Katie together where I’m like, OK, I can see some similar clarities, but I’m like, none of them really look like him.

And then here I come out of the blue and I’m the one that looks like him, you know, but there were a couple pictures I saw up there that I’ve got screenshots of where it’s just, it’s eerie to look at, you know, like, wow, they’ve even said that they’re like, wow, that’s got to be so weird, you know, to to see this guy and to look at much like him.

And, and in the meantime, too, I had put pictures on Facebook.

I, you know, most of my good friends know most of my story or whatever, but I put some pictures side by side, pictures of me and him on Facebook and some other pictures.

And just like, I may have some news coming out soon and everybody’s like, you don’t need DNA.

And it was like, it’s, it’s so obvious.

You mentioned earlier, you know, that you did feel like you were missing some things.

How do you think not knowing affected you throughout your life until you’re, you know, 52?

And then what did finding out do for you?

Well, as far as like not, I mean, I mean, I, I think I still had a pretty normal, you know, life and everything, but it did eat at me not knowing my whole life, you know, I mean, and just to find out the the closure is just through the roof.

I mean, I feel so much better.

I mean, yeah, I’m not going to get the meeting, but just just the closure of knowing and seeing pictures and hearing stories, it’s it’s just great.

I mean, I feel, you know, a lot different for sure.

That’s amazing.

What has been most helpful to you kind of as you’ve navigated this?

You’re in a little bit of a different position than maybe somebody who grew up feeling super attached to a father and then found out that that wasn’t their dad.

But it’s still a lot to process.

What has helped you?

My wife, just the support, we’ve been together almost 30 years, you know, I mean, she has has seen me from day one.

You know how this has affected me not knowing, but the support of my family here too.

You know that I’ve grown up with because everybody was just super excited, but just just the support of my wife.

And then my sister here, the one I grew up with, she’s been so excited.

She went through something kind of similar to this years ago.

But just like I say, just the support and from them and my family and and my wife is really what’s got me through it, you know, and you know, I’ve met some really cool people, not just my siblings, but you know, I have a relationship with Juanita and there’s a second cousin that I met, by the way, she’s the one that told me about this podcast.

Her name is Sheila.

She told me about this.

She was one of the people that responded to me and she was trying to help me.

She she didn’t have any luck.

You know, we’ve actually carried on a little bit of a relationship on Facebook and, you know, speak back and forth and she was real excited for me.

But so shout out to Sheila because she told me about this podcast.

Thank you, Sheila.

Listen for a lot of time so, but yeah, I’d say that’s what’s got me through just the just the supportive family, you know.

That’s so cool.

It it always surprises me like when somebody’s like, oh, somebody recommended this podcast, like, you know, I know that it reaches people, but it still amazes me.

So thank you for.

Sharing that I would have never, I would have never stumbled on.

I listened to yours and a couple others.

Yours is my favorite stuff and I would have never stumbled.

Even though I listened to a lot of different podcasts, I would have never stumbled, you know, prostitutes and she told me about it and I’m, I’m obsessed with it.

I mean, I it’s, it’s everyday, you know, I mean pretty much listen to yours and then a couple others and just the stories are just so wild that the secrets and the lies and it’s you know, I mean, I guess I kind of, you know, was a secret that that’s another thing too, I wanted to touch on is the the two biggest questions I have is did my mom know who it was?

But she hadn’t looked at me as like a teenager and known that I was his, you know what I mean?

It just, and then my other big question is, did he know, you know what I mean?

I wonder, you know, Jamie says that she truly believes her mom thought it was this Richard guy and maybe my mom did think it was, you know, this Donald guy.

Another thing too is kind of weird is I wonder if the guy on my birth certificate and my bio dad knew each other because they were both from the Toronto area and what’s the chances of her like knowing two of these guys from Canada in the same area and having relationships with them?

I’ve not been able to put a link between, you know, the bircher to the dad and the bio dad.

But I do really wonder if if they did know each other, you know, but I also wonder if she knew and it’s possible too with him.

He he lived in Canada, she lived in Ohio and was probably visiting Florida.

He may have got her pregnant.

She never saw him again.

She may just came back to Ohio and just literally never spoke to him again or saw him again.

So it’s, it’s, you know, very possible he didn’t know about us.

Yeah, I do think she probably knew who my dad was at least, at least when she was seeing me, you know, as I, as I grew up, I guess.

Yeah, it’s it’s hard when we have those questions that we’ll never know the answer to.

Do you know if your mom even hung out with him regularly or it’s hard because she may have not remembered him?

I do not know.

The only thing I will say is that Jamie has an aunt down there who and she’s elderly and has had some health problems.

Her other aunt showed this aunt a picture of him and she says, I mean, this is 50 years later.

She goes, oh, that’s Mark and he dated and she named both of our moms.

So I don’t know if it was a dating thing, if it was just when he would come into town, but I mean, she lived here, but it sounds like she did go back and forth to Florida.

So I, I don’t know if it’s a dating thing, a one time thing, but like I say, Jamie’s aunt did say that’s Mark and and he dated both of your mom’s, so whatever.

Dating would be right.

What would you say is your like #1 question that you still have?

I guess it would be if he knew about me, you know, if he knew and, and I guess her too, you know, I I feel like she probably did just by seeing me, but I just said maybe how much of a relationship they did have.

Not not that it matters.

I mean, I don’t care if it was one night stand or you know, whatever, that doesn’t matter.

But I guess the biggest one would be did did he know about me?

I guess if I ever.

I think it’s interesting because I’ve seen, you know, like critique, I guess of this community where maybe people are why, why are people so concerned with like their conception, right?

Like how they came to be.

But I don’t think it’s about that, right?

We aren’t, we don’t care for the the details around that, but it’s but it does help us make meaning of how we came to be and.

And, and I think sometimes the people want it.

Maybe it feels better to know that it was more than just a one night stand or something.

They’re they.

Maybe you were created out of love, I guess you know.

I’ve heard that for sure.

You know, just so so maybe I don’t think about that really at all, you know, I mean, but but I do wonder, I I mean, I see how he was with the other kids he did know about.

I don’t think he was, I think he probably would have been in Katie’s life more, but I think he was kind of asked not to be by her mom.

So but but to see how he was with the other kids.

I mean, I saw so many pictures with Sherry and Mark and he looks like a good dad.

You know, when part of me wants, wants to think that if he knew about me, he would have tried to, you know, possibly be a part of my life.

But then again, I mean, I was only 6 when he died.

So it’s not like, you know, I would have, you know, I wouldn’t have a lot of time but it and he didn’t live here either.

But you know, I could have possibly met him or something.

What is next for you?

Do you have plans to go see family again?

Do you want to do more research?

What are you doing next?

I don’t know what research I, I, I, I’ve have like scoured Internet.

I would kind of like to know a little bit more, you know, maybe about, you know, what was leading up to the murder and stuff like that.

Yeah, I’m definitely going to stay in touch with my siblings.

I mean, I don’t know when I’ll make it back up there.

My brother had actually talked about possibly trying to come down this summer.

And I don’t think Sherri has a passport, but Katie does have one.

I’ve invited her down.

I hope to at some point in time, like I, I do speak to all of them in different, you know, varying levels.

I would like to actually meet Jamie.

We speak on Facebook and she’s OK with that.

But that’s really all she wants for now.

I mean, which, which, which that’s fine.

Everybody is different.

I could have probably approached things a little differently.

Like I’m sending a message to her like, hey, I think you’re my sister, you know, just out of the blue.

And I think she was kind of over it at that point too, because it had been years before, you know, since she had been on there.

And I think she had just moved on.

And and like, say, I don’t begrudge anything if she’s not ready for, you know, to meet or whatever.

I’m just happy to have something, you know, to where we at least, you know, chat back and forth on Facebook.

And she says if I’m ever down there on vacation or if she’s ever up here, maybe we’ll try to try to meet.

But.

But yeah, I mean, I just plan on continuing on with my relationship with them and see where it goes and possibly if I’m ever up there again, you know, maybe Juanita and her sister we talked about meeting and maybe, you know, maybe my aunt, you know, up there, whatever.

But that’s pretty much it, I guess as far as plans.

I’m actually getting in a fantasy Football League with my nephew and my brother, you know, from Canada and I, I told my brother I was like, who would ever thought like 6 or 8 months ago or whatever, I’d be like saying I’m because it’s weird to say brothers and sisters.

And I mean, I’ve always had one sister, so that’s not weird.

But to say a brother, you know, is is it’s odd, you know, Yeah.

Do you feel?

Like you have like a brotherly bond with him or how would you describe your relationship?

I would say a little bit, you know, I mean, I would definitely say friends and, and it’s, it’s growing a little bit, you know, I mean, I, and I’ll be honest, there was a part of me that like was kind of holding, you know, and at arm’s length until because I, I needed to know with DNA.

But now I’m kind of over that after going to Canada and hanging out with him and talking with him as much.

I think I’m just, I’m OK with not knowing for sure.

You know, I, it, it bothered me at first.

And then another thing too is God forbid that and, and, and they’ve all said, you know, his mom would have for sure, you know, not cheated on, you know, him and had, you know, it’s got to be him.

But we all know how that goes.

But I think after me even hanging out with him, though, I’m OK with not knowing by DNA and God forbid we found out that he wasn’t his dad, I think that would crush him.

You know, he’s named after him and everything and that’s been his dad his whole life.

So I’m OK with not knowing at this point.

You know, it’s nice to know with the with the three girls.

I mean, I, I, you know, and sharing the same thing too.

I mean, we had spoke so much that if I found out she wasn’t, I think we would have still had a relationship.

But we both needed to know, you know?

What advice do you have for a parent who may be keeping adna surprise from their child?

Now I said I was going to take some time and really think about these, but I never did.

So I will just say that one’s going to be kind of generic is that, you know, just don’t keep the secrets, you know, just let them know.

And, and, and like a lot of other earlier shows said, maybe there is an age, you know, to where, and mine’s a little different, you know what I mean?

But my mom, if she knew or suspected, she still still could have told me, you know what I mean?

So I would just the generic answer of just, you know, not keeping the secret.

Let them know.

Well, still good advice, I think.

And what advice do you have for someone who just uncovered Adna surprise?

I would say, even though I didn’t do it, kind of step back and take a breath and you know, just take your time, I guess, and not jump into things which like I say, I did full, full force.

And I’m not saying that’s a bad thing to do that.

And then I think don’t give up if you, if you find out, you know, that there is somebody out there.

I mean, just don’t give up because even though you think it’s never going to happen, I mean, I’ve never in a million years thought I would know who my dad was.

And you know, don’t give up.

But you may figure it out eventually.

Josh, thank you so much for joining me today and sharing your story on the podcast.

I think you have such a positive outlook to, you know, being appreciative of all of the information that you are able to get in the relationships that you have been able to build, while being accepting of some of the what ifs and unknowns that you know you might not get the answer to.

So I hope that your relationships continue to grow and please keep me updated on what happens in the future.

Thank you.

Thanks for having me on.

Thanks again to Josh for sharing his story.

If you have adna surprise that you’d like to share, please submit your story at dnasurprises.com and for early ad free access to episodes, join me over on patreon@patreon.com/DNA Surprises.

Until next time.

DNA Surprises is hosted, produced and edited by me Alexis Oursalt.

It is mixed and mastered by Josh Auersault of Siren Recording Studios.